I talk with people regularly who are suffering, in personal heartache and pain, struggling with ways in which they feel lacking or deficit, a big decision or situation in their life. Sometimes they cycle around and around with the same swirl of feelings, thoughts or perspectives, sorting and resorting them…often not sensing there is any way for things to be different.
Such painful or lacking feelings that many believe they must just endure quietly. I have been here. I have suffered, felt trapped, lost in years of feeling I had done something wrong, trying to anticipate other’s reactions to unseen triggers, trying to be ‘good’ so as not to trip the unseen explosive wire. These years are the seeds of my own study, healing and the birthing fields of my work in the world.
I now am so clear that we have experiences in life that are designed perfectly for our Soul’s learning, growth and ultimately freedom. In my clarity and deep knowing – that we are given life to experience both the pains and the pleasures of being a Soul in-body, with the opportunity to grow our awareness, to navigating life more and more awake – perhaps I am overly enthusiastic.
If so, I want to give space and breathing room to our feelings of personal deficite, pains and heartbreaks so deeply felt. The stories we tell our self, about our self, in our most private spaces– that we will never amount to much, that we are un-loveable, that no matter how hard we try things don’t really change, that we are a disappointment, that we are not worth kindness, that we should be ashamed of our self, on and on these go. The hours we spend trying to make sense of how and why others treat us as they do…so painful.
Then my enthusiasm kicks in. I get excited when things get hard, when thing start to fall apart, when the parts we try to keep hidden – even from ourselves – begin to crack through the darkness. I get excited and vitalized. This is the fodder for life change!
I firmly believe that deep transformational work is both a journey, or the experience – of feeling our feelings, crying our tears, screaming our outrage, letting our wild out, softening into our most tender, vulnerable hearts AND then, the every day practice of bringing our deeply mined truths, out into the light of our every day life. Trying new behaviors, taking new risks, doing new things that actualize all that has transpired in the journey. This is how real change happens.
The important thing in this is that we are not alone, connection with another, or a group who can help to hold this transformational process is an important part of the change process. We are tribal people. We need each other. We need to be supported and to support – both, a balanced dance of interdependence and connection. Together we grow, together we rise to new levels of awareness and practice.
So when things feel messy or scary or too heavy to bare, reach out. Connect. Remember you are not alone and this is the perfect moment to be with what is calling your attention, this is up for healing in your life. This is the perfect time to remember that things are as they should be…that you are learning on the journey & practice of your life.
