First published by The NeuroImaginal Institute, November 26, 2013
Ok. I have been working at this for years…yet; have delayed writing about it this month! Then I received a wonderful newsletter, thanks to my friend Sally. It sparked me to remember all the value in the practice…and engaged me with fun facts. Here are a few:
People who keep a gratitude journal and record at least 5 things a week:
- Feel more optimistic
- Sleep better/more
- Feel more responsibility for their success, they feel more empowered
- Feel more energetic, awake, alert
Why is an attitude of gratitude a good thing?
- Grateful people are healthier: 10% less stress related illness, more physically fit, have 12% lower blood pressure
- Every 10 years of life our gratitude increases by 5%
- 7% higher income
- More social and community connections
- Teens are 20% more likely to get As in school, have 13% fewer fights, and be 10x less likely to smoke
- Add 7 years to your life and be better liked!
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is a mindfulness practice. Some of us have to learn to tell the story of our day, our challenge or our life from the place of seeing the positive, find and feeling the things worth appreciating. This can be a big shift if we tend to talk about our difficulties or challenges as our way of building connections.
When we consciously practice gratitude, research shows things happen:
- In people who cultivate gratitude an attitude of gratitude does not mean they don’t think of negative or upsetting things, in fact, allowing yourself to imagine your death, the ending of a significant relationship, loosing a job, someone or something you love – leads to a measurable increase in gratitude!
- You are more able to survive psychologically hard times with an attitude of gratitude, and experience more happiness in good times
- When you show your gratitude to those you are grateful for be specific with them. Tell them what you love and appreciate, specifically, about their behavior or way of being. “I love it when you put the toilet paper on the dispenser! Or, I love that you greet me with a kiss and a smile!” They flourish in this specificity, they tend to do more of what we appreciate and they love to be acknowledged. A circle of flowing gratitude!
- What you give attention to grows – paying attention to the people, actions and things you appreciate cultivates its own reinforcement in your awareness. Build more and stronger neural pathways for gratitude! Notice, then express what you love!
Gratitude killers:
Expectation & Entitlement. When we feel we are owed things, no gratitude is needed. Then, if we don’t get what we are owed, we often experience a cascade of negative emotions. Thoughts follow like “why does this always happen to me?”, “what did I do to deserve this?”, “I can’t believe this happened to me!”.
Potentially traumatic, disappointing, bad and difficult things happen in life. The masterful attitude of gratitude leap requires developing perspective….taking a step back and realizing difficult, unexpected things happen. There are times when I need and there are times when I can give or respond. We are all givers and receivers at different times. Allowing others to assist us is sacred service, we are holding the role of need so someone else can hold the role of giver. For many of us it is easier to be the giver, we feel good for helping, the service is more obvious as we reach out and respond.
The Master of the Attitude of Gratitude is the one who can see that service is both giving and receiving. Both roles are required to create the flow of gratitude goodness.
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